Lessons in a Baby's Sleep

Few things are harder to endure in life than the sound of your baby crying himself to sleep. To this I came to the conclusion of, sitting on the back porch of our house just two days ago in a state of complete and utter guilt-ridden misery. My stomach was in knots and in my head waged a battle between the experts and my conscience as cries from my little one filtered through the open window.

The question is age-old: should parents gently rock, sing, comfort, even nurse their babies to sleep or should they be firm in putting the baby down awake and letting him cry it out if need be.

I was convinced I would be among those firm but loving parents who would be willing to put up with a little crying for the long term benefit. Indeed, recent research indicates that the health benefits of 10-12 hours of uninterrupted nighttime sleep for infants is threefold:

1) Infants are more capable of handling teething. Long, restful sleeps enhance their ability to cope with pain. 2) Infant are less irritable and cranky during the day. 3) An infant's brain development is enhanced to its fullest potential.

Indeed, first attempts to put my baby down for the night drowsy but awake ended in successful, restful sleep after 18 minutes of crying. The second night, he was in peaceful slumber after 10 minutes, and the third night, he merely closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Buoyed by what I considered our incredible and adept parenting, I decided to now concentrate my efforts on the morning and afternoon naps. Here is where I found myself outside on the back porch wracked with guilt. Not only did my babe not take well to the idea of being put down to catch some zzz's while the sun was still high, he downright took offence to the idea and wailed his protests for exactly one hour and 13 minutes straight. How could I do this to him? Where was I? How dare I leave him like this?

Alas, I am much humbled by the experience and, although he is able to fall asleep on his own at night, my little guy is still not able to do the same during the day.

And I've been asking myself, "Why should he?" This period in his and my lives is so fleeting, so precious and loving. Why must we hurry up and rush his independence along? Drs. Bill and Martha Sears wrote, "On the surface, baby training sounds so liberating, but its a short-term gain for a long-term loss. You cease to value your own biological cues, your judgement, and instead follow the message of someone who has no biological attachment, nor involvement in your infant."